I'm trying....

I really have tried not to bitch and complain TOO much on here.   This week has done me in for some reason. 
I feel like NOTHING I do is good enough for the husband.  He was gone for over a week last week.  He got home, the house was decent, but not cleaned (lived in messy, but not disgusting...).  He made jabs about it all weekend.  Seriously....when I was giving baths on Monday, pretty sure you could've used that time to at least pick up whatever was bugging you....no, you'd rather get on my case. 
Then you ask odd questions about bills/money.  Do you think I don't know how to pay bills?  Do you think I'm not doing things to keep the house running while you're gone?!!?  Come on.... give me a little credit. 
Thursday night, the entire week disappeared when I had to take him to the ER because of sharp pains in his neck and head.   Spent about 4 hours crying over what it could be....just a rememberance of what's really important in life.  After about 3 hours, we got to leave the ER - it was just a pinched nerve and sinusitis, thankfully. 
I'm the one who got up with the baby at 6:45am, after not getting to bed until around 2.  Yes, we might have spent the day relaxing (after the doctor for the baby - 9 month well check) but I didn't get to sleep in OR take a 4 hour nap.   If you think I wasn't exhausted, you're wrong.   I think it's more stress on the spouse/friends then it is for the person in the ER.   Yes, I did get a nap, but not 4 hours worth.  
We stayed up late to watch a movie (which we NEVER do)....and again, 5:30, baby alarm.  Who gets up?  Not daddy.   So when I needed a break at 8:30, I get bitched at?!!? REALLY?!?!  Yes, I know you have a gig. Yes I know you're tired, but is it too much to ask for a little understanding?!?!  And since I already said I'll try to let you sleep tomorrow morning for a few hours, really....you can't spend time with the kids at least??!  
I hate letting you leave when I'm ticked off....but once in awhile, a little respect and understanding isn't TOO much to ask for... is it?!??!  
I signed up to be a mom - and a stay at home one, at that, but can I get a little break once in awhile?????  Maybe not just when the baby is sleeping..... whatever.  Oh well....such is life :)